


A chilling caper

by Caroaimezoe



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, Surprise Pairing, Turtlecest (TMNT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 12:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Global warming leads to critical situations.The request I got was: 'Leo schooling his brothers on how to get an ice cream cone at a Central Park kiosk without being discovered.'I think I went overboard with this in my desire to turn this innocent prompt into tcest





	A chilling caper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hummerhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummerhouse/gifts).

It was hot. Hot was an understatement. Leo could almost feel the scorching sun from the sewers. The sewerage was warmer than a take-out won-ton soup and they walked in a kind of humid mist, which was the closest experience they could get from a sauna.

Of course, with their turtle luck, it was right the moment the fridge decided to die on them. Today was 114 outside and it wouldn't become cooler any time soon according to the metro forecast. Not before a week at less, even at night. Leo tossed in his bed each night, too hot to sleep. Donatello was supposed to work on the AC system, but the fridge and the freezer were the priority, according to Leo, to keep the food edible when Don had snapped he ‘couldn’t do damn everything in this fucking place for fuck sake.’ Leo had tried to be delicate with Donnie and didn’t scold him about his language. It wasn’t Don’s fault. Donnie was usually the easiest brother to deal with it, always compliant and polite. But like each time it was over 100 degrees in the lair, the sweet genius had a short-temper who could over-shadow Raph’s.

In fact, each time the lair’s temperature was over 100 degrees, his brothers were turning weird. If Don were sharp and edgy, Raph would be his restless self but with a more...emotional side. Leo wasn’t sure how to put it. He only knew that Raph was coping by drinking booze with Casey. He didn’t even sneak out of the lair, he was telling aloud he needed to see his best buddy. Leo let him be. Casey could be a moron; he was a reliable one. Nothing wrong could happen to Raph if Casey were there. And if Casey was alright with a clingy Raph, everything was fine.

Michelangelo was another story. Mikey was turning...touchy-feely. Sometimes, Leo had the weird impression Mikey was waiting for him next to the fridge to try to grope him when Leo woke up at night to get a cold snack. It was unnerving.

Leo was the only one unbothered by the temperature. He had only a little more appetite than usual. Well, he craved this specific strawberry sorbet bar. But there was nothing wrong with getting a craving. It was only rational to want to eat something cold during the heatwave.

But now, the situation was getting critical. It has never been so hot in the lair and without the freezer, Leo’s sorbet bars were melting. He had even chewed on the cardboard box damped by the melted sorbet, but now, he had to face the dreadful truth. There weren't any left.

Desperate times called desperate measure.

There were all in the kitchen, trying to get the more fresh air from the tiny fan Don had plugged, but it was so hot that it was only lifting the dust. Leo tried to be the shortest he could manage to explain to them their mission. April was there too, venting herself with her tessen. She must be smells of sweat since Donatello was pulling away from her the farthest he could without leaving the room.

“This is our target,” Leo explained, circling a spot on the map. “I’m watching the whereabouts of this truck for a while.”Leo licked his lips, his focus zeroed on the sharpie circle. “The driver parks his truck in Central Park until 10:00 pm. I thought of a way we can do to distract the driver and stay unnoticed. From then on, we could drive the truck out of…”

“Are we really talking about hijacking an ice cream truck, goddammit!”Don snapped. “Am I really here, listening to your greedy nonsense instead of installing the AC?” Don stood up, spilling the lukewarm tap water in his glass. “Get a fucking grip!”

“Wohoo, chill out, dude,” Mikey said in a soothing voice. “I’m sure Leo’s idea to cool us down is pretty cool. Come on, bro, tell us more about this truck,” Mikey encouraged the leader. Leo felt a chill ran through his spine about how low Mikey’s pitch was when he spoke the leader’s name. But Mikey wanted to hear about the ice cream truck and it was the thing Leo was the more eager to do after, of course, eating the said ice cream.

“So, this is an ice cream truck. ” Leo swallowed hard. It could almost feel the taste of fresh-frozen strawberries. His second fave picks, when he run out of strawberries sorbet bars, was the green tea ice cream. It was made with authentic Japanese matcha powder from Uji Kyoto, enhanced with the richness of pure, sweet cream. Just thinking about it was making him hard in his shell. Damn, he needed to focus.

“His position made him difficult to see from the street. Only pedestrian walking in Central Park could see the truck. Because of the heatwave, I assume tourists would rather stay at the hotel with AC and so, this is a perfect night with witnesses risk around none.” Leo sucked a hard breath, to try to tame the excitement flooding him. “This truck sells more flavor than any other ice cream stands in Central Park. This is why we target this one! Everyone could have his fave one!” Raph muttered something about rather wanting beers at Casey’s, but Leo keeps his attention on Donnie. He was the one given him a hard time. “They even have the expresso one for you, Donnie!” he insisted.

“Don’t fucking mess with me!” Don roared, sweating bullets. Yes, Mikey could be weird and Raph turns an absolute lush, Don was the worse. “This is only about you and your crazy craving! Why are you not able to fight your urges like everybody else? Are you our leader or some Baskin Robbin’s frigging mascot!”

“Why fighting them? For me, I’m not fighting, just going with the flow,” Mikey said dreamily but Leo butt in to save his leader honor.

“This is not about me!” Leo protested and Don sneered. “Are we all hot? Are we not all wanting something fresh and cool and sweet to put in our mouth.” Leo stopped himself, realizing he had started to drool while Mikey made a motion of agreement.

“You are all starting to annoy the shit out of me,” Raph mumbled. “I said we just do as Leo wants. While he would be busy licking clean his shitload of ice cream, we will have the fucking peace. And who knows? Maybe we can use some parts of this ice cream truck to help you with the damn AC or fridge,” Raph proposed and Leo nodded eagerly. Why he had thought of it? Talking junk and car parts would most interest Donatello than ice cream. Raph was now his favorite brother. “Meanwhile, I could drink a draft or two with Case,” the hot head added and Leo understood better why Raph had sided with him.

“Why I’m here, already?”April sighted. “This is not because I don’t like you, guys, but I would rather get some AC from the movie theater. “And why did you asked me to put on a red lace bra?”

Don hit the table with force.

“Indeed, why she is there?” he barked and Leo blinked. So, even April, the person Don has a soft spot for was getting yelled at. “And what about the bra? What is going on in this crazy mind of yours, Leo?” Don looked like he was about to lose it. “I don’t want to know the color of her bra!” he shouted, taking his head into his hands.

“She is our bait,” Leo explained seriously and they all gasped. “What we know about human males is that they are all horny.” Mikey snickered that it wasn’t only human, but Leo was too busy to tell about his plan. “April would ask the driver’s help with her bra strap. He would climb down his truck to help her and I would use this momentum to sneak in the truck and drive it away.”

Nobody talked, while Don was shaking his asthma pump like crazy.

“Okay…”April said with a hint of uncertainty. “But what I do afterward? I mean with the truck driver.”

Leo shrugged. “You followed an elite kunoichi training by both Sensei and I. You will be fine. Besides, I guess the guy would run after his truck, but I can swear to you, he won’t ever catch me and get his ice cream back!” he said in a comforting matter. “You would have to run in the opposite direction, April.”

After having taken two puffs from his asthma pump, Don loses it.

“Are you not shameless?” Don burst in rage and he flipped the table as Beethoven did with his piano when he was mad at his servant. “Are you really using April to lure a horny guy...for ice cream? “

Leo frowned. He could understand the heatwave was affecting Don, but he was the one who should have some self-control, instead of scolding him, the mighty leader. Leo only wanted some ice cream. It was a very commonplace thing in the summertime. Don was the one making a big deal from it.

“April, what do you think about my plan?”Leo wanted to know. “Nothing bad would happen to you, I swear. Raph and Mikey would watch over you from this spot,” he said, pointing the map.”

“And where I am in this hijacking mission?”Don wondered with irony. “Shoveling ice cream into your mouth?”

“No. Fixing the fridge here,” Leo replied, as sharp. “No need for the freezer. We will have the one from the truck after this mission. Then, you will have time to install the AC.”

“Can we save a spot for my beers in this new freezer? I will put them thirty minutes before drinking them. Casey likes his beer very cold, ya know?”

“It’s unbelievable!” Don threw his arm above his head. “For Plato’s sake, I feel like the only turtle into a pig family! Your three minds are either in the gutter or your stomach! Why meddling April’s safety in your stupid scheme to get the ice cream your crave! I can’t believe you are ready to risk her safety to satisfied your appetite. If there an ass to put on stakes, why not yours?”

Both the leader and the genius were mad dogging while April mumbled she was okay, really, and trusting Mikey and Raph to save her if something terrible happened.

“Raph and Mikey? Are you kidding me?” Don had a dark chuckle. “Raph would forget about you if he got a call from Casey or can snatch a can of beer. Mikey…”

“Mikey says don’t cross this turtle and put yourself between his ice cream and him.”

Michelangelo grinned, putting an arm around Leo’s shell. “This isn’t biggy, Dee. Hijacking a truck is child play for us. Our leader would be happy to get his craving, Raph would be free to hang with his boyfriend…”

Both Raph and Leo denied it quickly.

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” Raph said with a deep flush. “I only feel like drinking beers and ya know, he isn’t the only person sharing my taste.”

“I don’t have a craving. It’s just so hot. Besides, its real strawberries, so it counts as a fruit. The fruits are a part of a healthy diet. We should have a healthy diet.”

“You will get a load of mechanical parts to play with and well, I’m happy when my bros are happy,” Mikey continued.

Don narrowed his eyes and mumbled something around ‘You don’t fool me’ but Leo was far too excited about he had two brothers on his side. April would follow. She has to, they had been good friends to her. She could pay with her person a little, once in a while. Why having an attractive girl on their team if they couldn’t use her in this kind of critical mission?

“It’s 9:15! Let’s move!” Leo exclaimed. “Don’t forget. It will be still more crowded than when we usually get out! We have to be sneaky! The defeat is not-allowed. And you,” Leo added, glaring at Donnie. “When we will be back with the ice cream, you won’t have any!”

They left while Donatello was still yelling at the background that Leo would sell Splinter’s ashes for a sundae. Leo didn’t bother to reply. Of course, he won’t be that shameless. Anyway, why trading Master Spinter’s urn when he could ‘borrow’ for free the whole truck? Don wasn’t thinking with his so-called genius brain at all during the heatwave.

Topside, they hide behind a large rock, surrounded by the trees, just next to the truck. They were really well hidden, the closest light pole not lightening the spot where they were. Leo gave his last order.

“April, you will walk toward the truck. Try to walk more sexily than usual.”

“What is wrong with my way of walking?”April asked, indignant. Instead of answering, Leo snatched her purse to search in it.

“Put another layer of mascara and lipstick. Do you have a hairbrush in there? Your hair needs more volume. You need to look like an easy girl for this to work.”

April was too shocked to refuse while Leo dolled her up himself. When he was done, he put his hand in his dress and untied her bra.

“Don’t fail on me, April and good luck,” he whispered while giving her a shove.

“Man, I think Don is right and yar losing it with this heat,” Raph mumbled. “But whatever floats your boat, if this means I could be at Casey’s soon,” he stated with longing.

Leo shushed him, his eyes narrowed in two slits, watching the truck driver like a hawk from the shadow. April looked a little lost and it was perfect. If she looked vulnerable, the driver would be even more likely to forget about his duty to watch over his precious ice cream cargo.

“Tell me, Leo, what do you find so amazing about ice cream these last few days?” Michelangelo asked while Raph was busy texting, probably Casey.

“It's just hot out,” Leo muttered without paying any attention to Mikey, his focus entirely on the truck. “It’s too hot all the time. It’s refreshing.”

“Just refreshing? You act like you would lick ice cream off the floor.” Mikey teased.

“Yeah,” Leo replied absent-mindedly. “Why isn’t she walking faster?”

“Because you told her to walk sexily, duh. There's nothing sexy about rushing around. Dessert is so much more delicious when you eat it slowly." Mikey's voice was thick with intent, but Leo didn’t get the hint. Raph’s cell phone buzzed and the face of the hothead split in a huge grin, very uncharacteristic from his usual grouchy face.

“I waited the whole day, it was long enough,” the leader groaned.

“I waited three years of heatwaves,” Mikey retorted with still a suggestive tone.

“Can you fucking please wait I’m outta there?”Raph sighed. “There shit I don’t want to hear. Fearless, fair warning. I’m off in five minutes.”

Leo wasn’t answering, his burning gaze burning a hole in the truck and Mikey thought that they could have the Shredder gutting civilians next to them that Leo won’t flinch. His focus was solely on the ice cream truck and for a moment, Mikey was annoyed, but he knew that was he was waiting for was about to happen. The youngest knew enough his brothers for that. To stay patient, he continued to chat quietly.

“Do you know why the heat is affecting us?” he asked. “Don’s theory is that we don’t have mating seasons like ordinary turtles in the wild, because of our human genes. When the temperature rises so much, like right now, the heat triggers a vestibule? Vegetable. Vestigial! The heat wakes up a vestigial instinct.” Leo wasn't reacting at all. “We all get hit a little differently, I guess,” he continued, a little louder. “Some of us have lower sex drives than others. I saw on TV some girls like chocolate better than sex, because of endorphins or something like that. Chocolate or ice cream, it’s all sweet to me.”

“Interesting,” Leo murmured. He had obviously not heard to a single word, except maybe 'ice cream'. “Quieter, Mikey, we're ninjas.”

Mikey barely restrained his hand from slapping his own forehead in exasperation at Leo's obtuseness. What did he need to do? Take out an advertisement? Light a neon sign? “Don is much into April than ever. This is why he reacted so strongly to her presence. He had a hard time. Like you know. To confess.”

“Mhm”

Mikey was about to spill the beans or make a move to the hell with his scheme. He saw a dark spot moving very fast and he grinned. Time for the Mikester to make the scene.

“Donatello!” Leo exclaimed in shock.

“Hey Leo, did you show Raph the dick pic Casey sent you?” Mikey blurted out at the same moment the driver was getting down his truck, his hand already stretched to grope the poor April. The driver was knocked down by the bo from a Donnie appearing from nowhere that Leo had noticed a heartbeat too late-after Mikey.

“Donnie!” April yelped while Don was scooping her in his arm, bride style. “What are you doing?”

“You red lace undergarments are only mines to touch,” he stated, punctuating his declaration with a breathtaking kiss, a breathtaking kiss nobody cared to watch because Leo and Raph were fighting and Mikey after having stopped over the unconscious poor truck driver, was already driving the ice cream truck away.

Mikey was positive Leo was running after the truck and it felt great to be the one chased for once, even if he wasn’t fooled that Leo actual interest land in the freezer truck. He took a few sharp turns even if he was sure Leo could still track the ice cream truck if Mikey plunged in the Hudson River. Well, it was the idea. He waited for two miles again, before calling his brother.

“I got your cargo, but I won’t hand it over for peanuts,” Mikey teased. “If you don’t give me what I want, I will destroy it,” he concluded more seriously. It was indeed a very solemn negotiation. "I'm on my way for the dock."

“What do you want?”Leo asked, his voice shaking, so far from his composed and calm leader demeanor. Mikey felt like he just abducted Lindberg's baby, but it was exactly at this despair he wanted Leo to be reduced. Just enough for him to actually see there was another way to get an endorphin rush. 

Mikey’s grin stretched to a Chestershire cat level. When Leo would be out of his ice cream freezy next week, he won’t miss to congrats Mikey on his schemer’s skills. He just hoped Leo would crave him not only when it was over 100 degrees, because Leo didn’t eat ice cream out of his heat, to not get fat on his well-toned body. Global warming could be real, Mikey didn’t want that to be a few weeks a year thing. Well, his rival was a strawberry sorbet bar, nothing you could cuddle with, in the cold winter nights and if Leo wanted to lose some of the weight he got from his week of excess, Mikey had a good training program in mind. 

“You said you would lick ice cream from anything, if I remember correctly?”


End file.
